Wolperts Blog

Fog Machine-I'm really glad I didnt kill my daughters hamster

My younger daughter has a pet hamster named Teddy Sweetems.  For those of you whose kids have had pet hamsters you know the drill.  On Tues eve Teddy Sweetems escaped from the cage and crawled into a small space via a hole in the base board, where it meets the cabinet, in the laundry room.  We know this because our dogs helped us sniff her out (the dogs love her and sniff and cry with joy when she is near).

We first tried to coax her out with "Monkey Chow" ( a hamster favorite ) and carrots.  While we were out of the room she came out, took the goods and went back into the wall.  Then I had a really good really bad idea.  What if we fog her out of the wall.  Yes I know now how stupid this sounds NOW.

Se we took our fog machine (not addressing in this post why we have a fog machine) and fangled a tube out of a big piece of paper.  We placed the end of the tube in the hole at the base board and waited for the fog machine to warm up.  The thought FWIW was that the fog would be annoying enough to Teddy Sweetems that she would come running out of the hole.

The green light came on indicating the fog machine was ready to do its thing and we counted down from 10 and I pressed and held the button.  Within about 10 seconds fog was oozing out of the walls and the seams where the cabinets meet with walls and my daughter freaked out yelling, "your killing her your killing her" and we cut off the fog machine.  We sat and stared for the next few minutes as the fog continued to ooze out from many places and no Teddy Sweetems appeared.

At this point I realized just how stupid my idea was and I asked my daughter to leave the room so I could find Teddy.  I spent the next 30 minutes cutting a big hole through the side of the solid wood cabinet so I could see if I could find Teddy.  With hole cut I looked in and could not see Teddy anywhere and feared the worst.

I placed to carrots through the hole in the wall hoping that Teddy was still alive and would come eat the carrots.  I am happy to report a few hours later the carrots were gone, so we did not kill her with the fog machine.  I am sad to report she is still in the wall at this time.  We continue to put food and water there to keep her alive until we find a way to get her out of the wall.

I almost really f---ed up today

My daughter has always done great in school.  So well in fact that this year they put her in a very advanced math class.  And she is doing fine but for the first time she really has to work at it and is asking for help.

I have been going to lots and lots of events.  There are some many endless events in our industry, so many I like to call them Yet Another Event (now known as YAE).   and tonight was supposed to YAE, a dinner at digital hollywood.   Do I need to be there, no, but seemed like a good local opportunity to schmooze with lots of industry people.  And here is my daughter asking me to please sit with her and help with her math.  And the f---ed up part is that it took me some time to realize that its so obvious that I need to just stay home tonight and work on math.

So I didn't f--- up but it scares me that I was even that close.  Choices....  Sorry digital hollywood dudes.  enjoy the dinner

The Several Thousand Dollar ceiling fan. AKA My wife negotiates much better than I do

Disclaimer.  I love my wife.  Nothing in this post should be construed to the contrary.  If you read this and see her point out that I mentioned how much I love her.  Also this took place a few years back but just found it and think it deserved to be posted.

My wife is brilliant.  Not in an in your face prove her point kind of way.  More in a subtle, knows just what to do to get what she wants kind of way.  And I am no match for her skills....